Experiences

helpless.......

2009-07-22T21:49:00.004+08:00

helplessness is just but a feeling that one would feel.. it's a fact that you can't help everyone who's in trouble.. it is also just helpless that you will just feel lousy to have failed for being there for the one you care most and yet you can be there for others.. it's just sad.. nothing can be done.. just lousy..

or maybe it is not what it is but just me?

possibly......

why am i so selfish... what is wrong with me? so immature.. immature equates to many other things such as irrational thinking which leads to time wasting, unreasonable wants, unreasonable thoughts... I am just going to spoil my life in no time.. just wait and see.. it will deteriorate if nothing changes.. i am just screwing my life up... taking everything i have for granted.. you better wake up PAUL MAXI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you better... or else you will not get anywhere.. you can trust me on that..

constants

2009-07-20T19:48:00.002+08:00

Well... variables can never be constant no matter how hard you may try to alter it and so oh well.. just 3 days ago and now.... shall just embark on studying now.. that is constant and yeah...

Meanings

2009-07-08T20:12:00.004+08:00

Somehow songs convey very different messages at different periods. Actually I have no idea what i am going to blog about.. really no words.. no thoughts.. nothing..

Well, holding back isn't going to do me any good but at the same time, i'm just blanked.. though "teardrop on my guitar" has evoked much emotions.. sometimes it is beyond control?

habits... the bad are bad while the good are good..

well, just made a terrible mistake of listening to "only hope" and "kenangan terindah"...........

It just turns on the tap........

well... light can be seen at the end of every tunnel...

Uncertainties

2009-07-06T21:09:00.002+08:00

There are many wants but not all wants would be attained...

Uncertainties turns the future into a tainted one...

Just pray...

confused

2009-07-05T03:51:00.000+08:00

No idea...

bbq

2009-06-14T22:33:00.004+08:00

It is now the middle of June and exams are drawing nearer and nearer. the day started off with the weekly 9am mass and then had some time to spend with Claire and oh no Fr JP....... Well then after that i went with my family to Queensway shopping centre. Got a new shoe. feels different, more comfortable but then the price is also quite steep. well, nearly got a new bag too but since i didn't need it, decided not to? still have some unused bags waiting to be used. before buying the shoe, ate laksa at one of the food stalls there. wasn't too bad. i ended up finishing my sistes' portion of food and gosh was i full....

Well then it was back to home to rest for abit before going out for bbq. Thought would get to hit tennis balls with my dad. yeah. but didn't coz the tennis court wasn't booked but i got to play soccer with Jus and Glen and their friends and dads and their children as it is sorta a Fathers' day bbq as well. sure was fun to be able to get to play soccer once again though i scrapped my other knee... ouch.. what luck.. the bbq was quite alright. the food was alright...

Gosh i have no idea why.. i think i am just an antisocial person at times. just couldn't blend in and it sure was weird walking ard the place alone with no one to talk to. maybe there was but i didn't take the 1st step? i believe so. it was just real sad to have felt that feeling.. it was so coincidental.. i should be happy and yet i wasn't.. it sure was not easy going through but it sure passed though slowly.. too tired to post any longer.. both physically and emotionally.. what are problems?

well, one call is one that changes everything

coldness

2009-06-06T23:26:00.005+08:00

What do you think of winter? Why do you feel the way you do? How would you like it to have your emotions taken away from you?

Now try thinking of the various emotions that you've felt in the past few days and you will see that you would have felt not one, not two but many different types of emotions in which each also occurs in different degrees. We feel winter in our emotions through emptiness, coldness of the people around us, when we are or have been disappointed and the list continues on. Interesting how our emotions are like the weather. sometimes we Publish Postfeel winter, summer, autumn, and spring.

Listening to Never Gone

2009-05-16T19:52:00.001+08:00

Experiences have been etched in every single person. Sometimes one would be afraid to commit and sometimes not. Never gone. Experiences are meant to stay, be it pleasant or unlpeasant. Pain can never be suppressed but rather left there just like how a scar is there to stay. The scar is a mark that would remind one of an experience whenever it is looked at.

There would be a time when one would be willing and would love to commit but what are the consequences of committing fully? more pain? more experience? guess that is something that varies from person to person. What gives one the right to say what he feels when there are counterarguments? Though we are given rights, we are still unsatisfied.

It so happens that experiences may just be a chain that restrains you from doing what you really want. However, it would be myopic to just take on this viewpoint without looking at how experiences has helped people grow and mature. To be able to grow and mature, one would require to learn and so experiences are lessons that we experience in life. These lessons can never be the same as no 2 person can be the identical.

sucky

2009-04-28T22:46:00.002+08:00

Well, today would seem to have been a really sucky day.. superbly sucky at that.. In sch, there was 2 time-pieces that was sprung for us and man.. i so didn't complete my lit essay.. not even half completed..Well then, at certain points of life, there would be this instance where you would feel undeserving and extremely lousy.. any attempt to cheer you up fails and you just fall deeper and deeper into that trap.. why are we the way we are? that may be a question that one wonders at times.. haha.. righttttt.. dumb question but it is not as dumb as it seems.. what the hell am i DOING!!!!!!!!!! ass... lol.. ideas are brought forward and what have you done with your life? nothing? or have you done something? what are you? a failure? are you breaking up? are you runnning away from the reality? are you filled with so much sin that you've been desensitized? Do you know what is sacrosanct? Are you trespassing? Are you that weak that you can't even perform a simple act? What has happened to you? Where have you gone? Why are you moving away? What do you really want? Why aren't you willing? Why those emptiness? Can you be taken for who you are? Why are you so engrossed in hedonism? What are you? Who are you? Can you? Should you? Many a question and yet there are many more that hasn't been asked.. Confused state sure makes one's mind wander and there is a tendency to lean towards the pessimist viewpoint? are you really trying? is it enough? Why aren't you using your gifts which is blatantly asking for your usage? Do you really care? What do you care for? Who do you care ffor? Who are you living for? WHy are you still living? What is your purpose? Are you myopic? DO you know? Do you do? What are you doing here?

Happy!!

2009-04-16T21:19:00.003+08:00

Well, 1sly, i am happy!! yay~! used my 2hr break before pe today to get something from Orchard!! been wanting to get it but didn't have the time to do so sadly.. Well, at last i have it. Though it may not be the cheapest but that's the only one that i could find which is practical and so might as well? abit of a worthy investment!! yeah.. from here, then can make other stuff too!! alright.. just happy.. At the same time, while on the way to the shop, an elderly man approached me and asked me if i could spare him some $? guess since i could, i just gave $2 to him? yeah.. it is always nice to give +)

Well, the Holy week has passed and quite a few things happened? quite sad that i couldn't make it for scouts but then yeah.. There are certain things that need priority. 1stly, CONGRATULATIONS to my great friend Wei Jin who got baptised on Easter in St.Ignatius' Church!!! Welcome!! Haven't kept in touch for some time i guess.. oh man... Well went for the mass with Claire and then it was quite an interesting experience to walk home at ard 1am.. totally..

Well, i sorta forgot what i wanted to blog about as my mind is just filled with something else?
aiya... dunno.. ah well.. shall blog again in the near future.. no idea when that will be but yeah... Well, it's just real sad... really sad.... there is this coldness wrapped ard my heart.. well, though only for a moment but that really haiz...... hahahhaa

End of hols...........

2009-03-22T22:30:00.002+08:00

Well, the hols has come to an end now and well, it sure did pass by quite quickly and it sure was an enjoyable week.. been in job week camp for the franciscan scouts since Thurs and just got home this afternoon. It sure was a camp.. fun and all and hmmm... ahahha.. some interesting views were seen... nvm about them then it was then off to Andrea birthday party at Singapore Island Country Club. Went there by bus and walked in!! wow.. it was.. wooo..

Well, today sure has been quite a day... sorta let myself get too affected?? ooops... hehehe... so tired.. ok.. all ends happy.. so byeee.. too tired to blog le... hahaha.

holidays

2009-03-19T00:00:00.002+08:00

Well, the holidays started out with confirmation camp from Fri the 13th of March 09 till Sun the 15th of March 09... So happen that confirmation camp starts just as my common tests ends.. how nice... hahah.. well the meeting after maths sure is nice.. lol.. maths was just a disaster i should say... well, went to saps... and met up with the other facils 1st... and i am paired with Emily!!!!!!!!! the exclamation marks will be explained later... hehehe... then once again, i have andrea in my grp!!! hahaha... and amanda!!! and chelsea.. high grp i should say...Well, we had chicken rice for dinner and wooo.. me and em were wondering how to bond the grp but they themselves bonded.. cool.. no worries about that..Day 1 went on just like that.. the group was so on and all.. wow.. and em got to know my gender related views?? hehehe...

Well, then it was to the 2nd day... woke up early to bathe.. hehe.. just sat at the parade square with a part wanting something more?? hehe.. morning exercise got cancelled!!! wooo... Well, then it was a walk to Lil Guilin that we had.. wow... after we had our short session of skits... and no way am i going to describe what i acted as.. oh man.. so brrrrrrrrr... for those who know... hehehe.. once in a blue moon acting ok.. hehehe.. the walk was waaaaaaa.... hot....... well, then also wanted to chat with someone but didn't have the mood?? dunno la.. silly as always.. hahah... feel so unhappy for no good reason?? felt bit neglected? nah.. dunno.. lol.. then had an interesting lunch and sharing session at lil guilin before heading back to saps.. Well, sorta lost my mood abt twice?? oops.. once was coz of amplifier while the other was coz of a case of poking fun.. oh well... not their fault.. Well, sorta just sang out my heart for P&W and woo was real happy at night... heee.. at last!!!!!!! wooootss.. just sat at the back and slack... totally brought up my mood and alll.. heheheheh... wooo.... and that's more or less day 2

Well, then it's day 3..... she woke up early but i didn't.. sadness please.. oh man.. was too tired.. heheh... oh well.. then it was gonna be yet another session.. hehe.. and then affirmation.. lost my book please.. sadness to the max.... wa leao... well, nothing much to day 3 i guess... just that i must express my feelings adn thoughts heeee.. yeah.. ooops... hehehe.. sorry...

Now for thr random stuff that just is going through my mind at the moment. !st would be Em!!!! hahaha.. woah.. struck man.. the woah.. sharings were... woah.. inspiring and great.. make me feel like a confirmant again.. hehehe... just listen and absorb.. ehehhe. and she and Lyndley!!! waaa... held my arms.. my face totally pinked like this font?? or maybe worst?? dunno... hehehe.. and she waaaaaa.. poke me and all.. gosh... next time must run away!!!! eheheh... the short walk ard the back of the sch at night was also quite interesting.. woo.. heheh...

Well then it's back to happy feelings again just a few hrs ago.. spent literally the whole day with Claire? haha. like totally please.. it was awesome?? aiya.. no need to elaborate?? hehe.. went to ikea to shop in the morning and i got what i had always wanted!!!! wooohoooo.. now is to get the board to put the beads!!! hahaha.. from orchard?? i guess.. should have gotten it the last time i went there with Celiniaaa.. make me think of her now.. haha.. haven't been chatting?? oops... hehehe.. jamie too... wa..... hehe... Well, has ikea hotdog!! cheap and good and wooo.. let's just say i was erm... surprised a few times today?? eheheh.. maybe shall elaborate more another time?? hehehe.. just an unforgetable day that would forever be etched in the mind.. hehe.. sat at the staircase to chat.. and all.. and woooo.. aiya.. just great la... lazy to type liao and my eyes dying and i haven't pack for tmr?? ooops.. hehehe.. ooops....

CTs

2009-03-12T20:21:00.003+08:00

Well it sure hasn't been quite a good week.. have a feeling i might just fail all my H2 subjects.. oh man... super sad... esp econs.. oh man.. what was i doing doing a question and suddenly forgetting how to do the 2nd part.. made me waste so much time... oh man... passing seems bleak for now but this would not be the case the next time.. i will so try... well, today isn't that bad after all in the end.. can safely say i thoroughly enjoyed the 2nd part of the day.. like totally..

Well, it's gonna be confirmation camp tmr night until Sunday... wooo.. wonder how it'll be.. sadly, i won't be with my group?? oh well.. life dun always go the way you want them to be.. now i wonder who will be in my group.....

Memorable 20th birthday

2009-03-04T21:53:00.002+08:00

Well, surprises just keeps coming this 20th birthday. 1st was Celiniaa, TY and Justin in the middle of the night.. well then it was sleep time.. woke up early to meet Claire and go sch with her... then went for morning mass.. cool... well, then it is back to lessons.. sorta ko during lesson once in awhile coz slept later than usual last night? hehe.. well, then it was our 1st break.. then i sorta wanted to sleep.. tried sleeping in the co-op but scared later i am late for the next class so i went up to class to sleep and saw Fern in class alone... oooh.. and it's sleep time.. slept and slept and slept... sorta been hearing noises ard but didn't really bother?? coz i guess it was just a normal thing?? Well, then came another surprise.. i woke up and got surprised by a birthday song by the class.. it was wow.. ok... unexpected??? yeah... what a way to wake up from your sleep.. hahah.. well, then it's back to lessons.. sch ended at 1 and then me, nigel, po and jude stayed in class.. nigel sorta tried to bring me down to "tau pok" but it sorta backfired coz in the end he was the one getting tau poked.. hahah. super funny... hahaha...

then it's out of sch to go to macritchie.. saw ty at the busstop and he gave me a present.. a water bottle.. wow.. pink... ok.. thank you ty.. hahha.. then we saw that the other side of the busstop is super packed.. might as well not wait.. so we decided to walk to macritchie.. wonderful.. as i was trying to keep the bottle, i lost my footing and down i went to the ground and got myself injured.. wow.. what a nice time to get injured. didn't run X-country then... Poor nigel got his ankle sprained... hope he is fine.. then it's time to go and meet Claire.. wooo.. lucky... hahha.. right decision to meet her.. totally.. coz she gave me another surprise for the day?

Went for dinner with her at bukit timah there and saw nigel ignatius teo!!! wow.. then went to walk ard the place to look at what to eat and we ate char kway teow!! and chendol and i ate another bowl of bo bo cha cha.. shiokkkkk... hehehe. then we went to the busstop.. send Claire home. then !kellie shae was there.. wow.. interesting eh.. took 75 to bukit panjang and got abit oops.. coz the bus took quite some time to go to her place?? well, she ko-ed abit at the last part of the journey.. sweet.. was asked to wait for awhile when we reached her place.. was wondering what she was gonna do and there she appeared with a cake!!! wow.. what a surprise towards the end of the day.. spent abit more time with her outside her house.. Rose is so cute. and she poked me 20 times.. after Claire asked her to do so.. wooo... it sure made my day..

All these happened within a day and it sure is great.. there are many other people involved too in making this 20th birthday a memorable one.. thanks to all for the love and wishes!!! there may be some other things that may have happened but i may have forgotten?? or something like that?? yeah...

Special Day

2009-03-04T00:14:00.003+08:00

One word... SURPRISED!!!!

It sure is a birthday.. 19 years has passed and wow.. this is the 1st time ever.. like totally.. Thank you so much Celiniaa, TY and Justin Chan..... nobody has ever surprised me till that extent? like woah.. that is totally the sweetest thing ever.. to come over at midnight to wish me happy birthday?? gosh.. i am just speechless.. yeah.. i really do not know what to say other than thanks?? ok.. woah... thank you for the memorable birthday.. i just realized that we should have taken a picture??? ooooh... ooops.... oh well.. whichever way, it'll be forever in my memory....

wrongs

2009-02-28T22:06:00.002+08:00

At times, one gets irrritated especially when one feels that one is doing something wrong. The regret in doing whatever they did sure sucks.. though the positive thing about experiencing such things is a good in the way that it provides one with experience.. guess i have done many wrongs and it so is irritating? can't stand myself at times.. sorta feeling it right here and right now.. what the crap am i doing?? come on... ughhhhh... ok.. sorta just i dunno? lol.. why can't I just watch what i do, say and think.. this is so ugh... esp since that one wrong makes others unahppy and all? the impact sure is much greater and ughhh.... wooo... ciaozsss

striking phrase today!!!

2009-02-23T21:59:00.001+08:00

"cannot because he's mine"

random pics

2009-02-21T21:15:00.004+08:00

desires vs ability

2009-02-21T20:56:00.002+08:00

There are many things that one may want to do or enjoy and yet at the same time, there are also many obstacles that one may have to face. skipped scouts today so that i will at least catch up with sch work. at least i am glad i skipped scouts. sorta felt free and good to be able to do work. Well, there are commitments that you would have to go through especially if you have accepted that power.. just like how if u dare to do something, u must dare to own up, if u dare to accept a commitment, u'll have to fulfill what is asked of u to the fullest of your capability....

This may not only be present in the context of activities but as well as the intangibles such as human relationships. something that we decribe in 2 words and yet it so much more complex than what we can imagine. every relationship with another human is in itself a very unique experience. at times we endure and at times we make others endure. the cycle continues.....

PE lessons has never been more meaningful.. so it's thanks to Mr Isaac Lim! yes him.. PE is more than just physical education with him if you do see it. just like the 3 R's, there is a way to face our obstacles.. "Face It" , "Fix It" and "That's It"...

Friday the 13th cum V'day eve

2009-02-13T23:37:00.004+08:00

This is such an interesting time. It's Friday the 13th and at the same time, it's V'day eve. oooh.. 1stly, Happy Valentine's to all out there. yeah. somehow this is just an interesting day. reached sch real early in the morning and poof, Ryan Sim and Nat Fernandez came up and encouraged me, ty and nigel to go for morning mass and so me and ty went. it was quite a morning. been so long since i attend mass that early in the morning. wow. Well, today is the day!! haha.. wooohooo. sorta got tied up with maths lesson. quite funny why the lesson got extended.. haha.. went home after that before going out with Claire. hehe. caught a movie and went to eat at seoul garden.... 1st time ever.... wooo.... ok feeling high now after all the ice-cream and all.. and the weird combination i had with the dessert.. chendol, jelly, chin chow, soursop.. etc.. weird combi.. make me appreciate ice kachang.. hahaha..

It sure has been quite a week too with the scouts... helped out to build the structure and yeah.. sorta sacrificed abit of studies.. oh man.. oh well, catch up after this weekend.. too lazyto transfer pics into the comp from phone so i guess shall put up photos another day..

OK.... not the way i expect things to end up like.... totally hate this feeling.... i guess it's just similar to what i did in the past.. haiz.. oh well... though it may hurt it is still part of a process.. so here I go!!!

Something that struck me from a great friend in Melaka!!!

A bell is not a bell until you ring it,
A song is not a song until you sing it,
The love in your heart was not put there to stay,
Love is not love until you give it away.

copyrighted 2009-
shaundamien

Random on 8th Feb

2009-02-08T21:51:00.002+08:00

Well, just felt like blogging.. yeah. though there are work to be done but i guess just not the time to study. tired. awake at 6 to fly kite in the west with a heart sure is fulfilling. that was the 1st time i ever had done such a thing. the colourful kite took some time before it actually went up to the skies and when it did, it sure was a great time to be remembered. such simplicity of life and yet very much fulfilling. i dare say more fulfilling than any electronic gadgets or studying. A time to just take things slowly and enjoy the surroundings is sure a rare experience in a country with a hectic lifestyle. everything goes on so quickly and everyone competes just to survive. such a place lacking the true meaning of life. reminds me of the various overseas trip which provided an alternative to the fast-paced life.

And it's gonna be back to sch.. a sad life but reality. sometimes i wonder how people always want to have a better and easier life without realizing what they have lost. Well, it's gonna be an interesting day tmr. i shall try something new. slowly. surely. positively.

choices....

2009-01-31T22:31:00.002+08:00

a path forks out into various other paths.. a choice leads to various outcomes.. both carries the same idea and meaning but put forth differently. a problem requires a choice. an exam question requires a choice. purchasing something requires a choice. sometimes we choose the best but sometimes we choose to be happy with what we have. Sometimes we choose to be fearful to give our all due to past experiences. sometimes we make mistakes. sometimes it can be corrected. sometimes not. sometimes we choose to feel this way and sometimes another way. sometimes we choose to be lost and sometimes the other way around. sometimes we choose to be sad and sometimes not. sometimes we choose to conceal our inner feelings and sometimes not. sometimes we choose to help others and indirectly choosing to hurt ourselves indirectly. sometimes we choose to make a choice, and now just have to wait..

insecurity

2009-01-24T22:43:00.003+08:00

I realized that life is full of insecurity...... Not the 1st time but yeah... just felt like blogging? somehow, am just engulfed with negativity.. not sure.. fear.. but at the same time, i know that i want that special aspect. i am not too sure on how to put it across.. like the fear of losing something that u treasure just like that? the fear.. of putting in the best effort.. i guess i don't wish to go through a terrible experience that i've been through before.. a simple purpose is to be with someone that i care for and the rest is needless to be explained.. the next stage sure would be wonderful too and i would love to advance but well.. guess i got dissapointed and am fearful of wanting that too early now? so just needa live life to the best and if it'e meant.. it shall be..

WOw.. just talked to a great friend.. and she just said i am so like a girl sometimes? and she said i am a SNAG!!!! woah.. i didn't know what that was and she told me it's Sensitive New Age Guy... errrr.... okayyyy... interesting.. haha.. life never fails to surprise.. wow... that wasn't the 1st? another friend said the same when i was out with her for lunch?? feminine guy?? wow.. oh no... hahah. but obviously i have no attraction for guys.. lol..

Pleased

2009-01-21T21:46:00.004+08:00

Currently, this is week 2 of being in JC2. It sure feels different and everything is so fast. Laziness has prevented this blog from having much life as well, studying or something else is much more worth it? yeah i suppose. currently lacking sleep but gonna catch up with it soon after this post is done. Many pleasant events has happened.

Just last Friday, a special visit to the Botanical Garden was made as it's quite a short distance away from school. Was there until evening and it sure was an interesting day. Coincidentally, a shirt of the same design was worn. It was something that Riggy and Lowell saw during mass one evening and what they described as _____ shirt. yeah.. Human minds are quite imaginative so i shall leave you to ponder on that blank with your very own unique imaginations. have fun. Well, visited Sheng Shiong in 10-Mile Junction today in an attempt to find out the prices of drinks that i can buy for the CNY pot luck in school. Interestingly i got too engrossed with the chips and crackers section until i forget about my main intention in visiting Sheng Shiong. Oh well, shall go again tomorrow.

Well, there has been quite a significant change of teachers for my class. Am i glad that happened.
We have a great Maths teacher. genius i should say. His brilliance leaves us astounded. or at least me. He has so far enlightened me thrice. wow.. impressive.. there is hope for maths. Lit P4 teacher is equally cool and fun. So i believe it's goodbye to class sleeping time.. woohooo. However, the issue now is to manage time as i've already been blessed with very good teachers. Shall not put to waste what has been provided for me!!!

And that's that for now.. there are many issues but time is so short that i can't bear to blog anymore.. shall return to my wonderful gf "CSE". must provide her with companion so that she'll love me back with an A in A's!!!! of course this include my other gfs ;)

beggining of school

2009-01-09T23:18:00.002+08:00

Well, the last week of holidays has just passed and school is starting tomorrow!! sorta excited and at the same time not too excited.. didn't really achieve much during the hols and hmmm.. it's gonna be a hard year ahead... guess sometimes things don't go the way we want it and well, what we want may not be what someone else wants.. bleahz..

Hmmm, everyone has their very own unique views... makes life more interesting? yeah it sure does.. then one will be able to feel the disappointments as well as the happiness.. ugh... okay.. no mood to write anything else and i shall excuse myself and head to bed. nights..

Start of 2009

2009-01-03T16:51:00.003+08:00

Well, 08 has came and gone just like that or maybe not just like that but rather filled with much happenings both good and bad.. well, for the 1st time ever since sch closed, i'm safely saying tt i am starting to study? yeah abit late but then better now than 6 or 7 months later? that would seriously be oooh.. cramming? super..
well, with this new year, i just pray that well, no matter how life may get, people'll still be able to find that soothing feeling from whatever source that they might have such as friends and well.. it's just real sad to know how others are not doing as well and yet there is nothing to be done.. but hmmm.. i am wrong as the best thing that can be done is to just pray and believe and just live life to the best of your abilities every day so that you won't be filled with regrets.. well, situations and behaviours has changed but surely there are reasons behind it and what is the point in being angry and pitting yourself against another in what we believe to be 'standing up for ourselves'. It may be hard to accept negative comments with an open heart but rather than create more conflict, why not try and understand where the negative comments are coming from? sometimes we may say what we may not mean to say at that particular point of time but well, we humans do have our own unique moods.. and well, i guess in a way, a unique way of handling situations which make us who we really are and not just someone who listens to others and do what they advise us to do without any brain juices being used.
there is so much that one can do and yet at the same time, there are as much that one cannot do.. so, why not focus on what you can do and pray for that something you cannot do and well, if it is to be, we might just be able to do something about that issue that was supposedly not able to be done.. this is not gonna be an easy year with the current state of the economy and i am sure as much as we all wish each other a better year ahead, we know that deep down it will not come true unless we take action. so don't just go 'lepak' around or drown in sorrows for nothing will get better if nothing is done. easier said? of course but just put in the effort.. so long you've given your best? so many more things to be done but what hass been done is past and now the future is something that one can plan for.

nearing a new beggining

2008-12-27T22:10:00.005+08:00

hmmm.. 101st post.. remind me of Dalmatians... ok.. just something random to start off things.. hehehe.. soon another new year is about to begin.. makes one wonder what the future holds.. At the same time, makes one reflects on the past year too.. sorta just went around reading blogs and there was one that struck me.. think i am learning more than she is learning from me as a group member.. mistakes are beautiful..Well, it's gonna be A'level year.. so yeah.. shall not blog much.. needless to say ba.. Well, things are going quite alright i suppose but i am not really giving myself the best that i can give to myself.. well, guess at least there was a slight start.. better than nothing at all. and whooo.. downgraded psp which means i can play all sorta game but hmmm.. someone dear isn't too pleased.. bleahz... piracy.. tsk tsk.. bad boy.. Well, i suppose sometimes i guess one happiness would sometime mean causing slight unhappiness elsewhere? oh man.. sometimes we realize so many things and aim to change but ugh.. it's just so hard to lift oneself up to change... hmmm.. ok.. i am so not sure what is going on in my mind right now.. oh well.. till next time.. hahaha..

wow...pleasant and touching...

2008-12-20T00:01:00.003+08:00

hmmm.. today sure was an interesting day.. DIY kite was a failure but in the failure, lessons are learnt.. shall try again soon.. well, then went out to west coast to hang out till like 8? woah. . then dinner and woah then chat and hmmm.. something super touching was put forth to me.. thank you Teresa Josephine.. if u will ever read this post.. well, i never knew many things and well, guess i am super childish but yeah that's who i really am i guess.. hehe.. but hmm thanks so much for being such a great student to u and of coz to the other 10 members.. i wouldn't have been where i am now if not for u guys.. the impact each and everyone of them gave was unique and man.. the group wouldn't have been a great one without u guys.. can also say tt i envy u guys? my confi grp was different. we have never been on a group outing and we are not really bonded as a group sadly.. but yeah.. teacher gave an impact but it's sad tt the grp didn't bond and i guess one reason why i came to be a junior cat was to try to change tt bonding issue and well, i sure am pleased with the group who has gone on 2 outings though not everyone is present.. well, i believe tt u guys are more bonded than i was with my group and i am real happy for u all.. the coming year will be another challenge so do keep in touch and all yeah.. more outings on the way alright.. and well, teresa has just affirmed me of some of my worries.. just this one affirmation is really touching for i would have not dreamt of being that way.. guess there are many more things that can be done.. but hmmm.. thanks Claire.. you have made a difference to not just my life but those u have encountered.. that i am sure.. so jia you!!!!

Persevering

2008-12-17T02:24:00.002+08:00

Well, went for the penitential service yesterday even though it was only about 6 hours ago.. Before that well, i suppose life isn't easy and harsh realities do come right up at ur face.. it was hard but then it was something tt had to be faced.. taking up a responsibilty means persevering in maintaining tt responsibility. i just wish tt this would carry onward to my academics.. oh well.. no tries but rather a simple 'do it'.. dun really know what to blog.. maybe somethings are meant to be locked within one's mind and all.. and to be shared only with good friends.. so be prepared y'all... tata...

sadness

2008-12-15T20:08:00.003+08:00

Well, illness is contagious jsut as how a laughter is but hmmm, seems like alot of things are contagious.. Well, there was this instant where a friend would be affected by his loved ones.. strange but yeah when the sound was heard it was so strong tt it affected the listener who then just have the urge o just cry it out too.. it was just a really sad instant. the search for hope is tedious and full of hardship but tt single speck light tt seems so far away makes one want to give up but then giving up seems so easy that it poses no challenge at all but why not one rather just stay strong and be there for another who is about to falter behind. i suppose that would be a much better alternative which is full of challenges and uncertainties but certainly the outcome will be one which is totally full of the sense of achievement and all.. so keep it up and defeat is only a stepping stone to a greater victory...

ooops

2008-12-12T23:35:00.002+08:00

Oooh. the holiday is soon coming to an end!! ahhh.. time to wake up to school mode.. haven't touched any work!!! sorta.. mmm.. bad bad procrastination at work. been staring at computer screen playing, going out and all!!! oh no... well, maybe not only the time that is going too fast but also life.. bleahz.. my bad.. gotta slow it down and enjoy life.. well, tmr's godbro's baptism!!! wooooo.. coool.. and scouts in the morning.. will so try to not get all sweaty and all.. yeah man.. well, just send my dear gf, K770i for repairs at the service center.. the poor girl has two parts of her body which is nto functioning.. the number 8 and 9.. that totally sorta made her lame?? like totally?? cannot sms properly with t,u,v,w,x,y and z missing from smses!!! ouch.. hope she'll be better when i collect her next Thursday.. At the same time, next Wed will be having a cat class grp outing!! though it's not the whole class, i guess it's better than nothing.. just a simple picnic at West Coast Park so sky you better not cry on that day alright.. must let the sun smile away and the wind blow away!!! hehehe.. Well, to slow it down, just had a farewell party for a dear clasmate, Anastasia whose presence would surely be missed next year!! but have fun and give it ur all wherever u are yeah though u may not read this!! heee.. it was a fun day man at Botanical Gardens.. sorta picnic but then errrr.. after food it was stone and stone and just chat around.. haha.. tt was interesting.. climbing trees gave a moment of excitement but it soon died off.. waaa... well, then today sorta spent time away too but hmm.. oooopss.. hehehe.. voice was super lost la.. never before i tell u.. ughhhh... disgusting... and tmr is sat!!! ahhhh... hope voice will recover by morning!!! heheh.. alright that is more or less what is randomly in mind now.. hehehe..

feels good to be back

2008-12-08T20:55:00.002+08:00

Well, it sure feels good to be back where i live.. another place that is nice to be back in is of course my motherland but well, there are perks in the country you live to? NS sure is one?? if i am not kidding it'll be weird!!! and wow.. things sure happen no matter what.. so now what? this or that? haha.. confused little soul.. haha..

There is just this particular something that strikes me.. It's just the basic thing of figure of speech.. Do we say what we really mean from the bottom of our heart or do we just say it from the bottom of our heart just for that period of time? so which is true especially if we say we've never felt like this before? or is it just an expression? So far, only One knows the answer..

Well, all i know is that i miss the people around and i wonder.. have i changed towards a negative side?? hmmmmm... much to ponder on?? will something happen? well, waiting to see..

End of November

2008-11-30T19:11:00.003+08:00

It is then the end of November and it sure sucks to be sick... been so long since i felt so weak and sick =p but no worries for i'll be fine soon.. i hope =p hehehe.. will be away in Malaysia for the next 8 days and so gonna miss everyone!!! woohoo.. It sure has been an interesting month and it sure feels great to be loved and to love!! wootss.. shall not blog so much.. hehe.. byee people........

Batam Pics

2008-11-28T23:57:00.004+08:00

Post-OCIP

2008-11-26T20:29:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was the day i arrived back in Singapore after spending 3 memorable days with the children from Bethesda orphanage in Batam. We arrived in Batam on Sat morning and i wasn't expecting much from the trip but to visit the country i originated from and eat their food again!! It seems more of a 'holiday' and time off from the busy life here. We took a ferry over and it sure was a warm trip. We were then awaited by our tour guide, Octa. Our passports were then kept and we were soon in the minibus which would take us to Golden View Hotel. Our driver, Pak Pri was a nice man. Since the rooms weren't ready in the hotel, we had to place our belongings in a room provided by the hotel before going off for our 'shopping' for hardwares and tools.. Our meals that day was an ordinary one with nothing really special. After lunch, we proceeded on to Bethesda orphanage to get to know the children and see what we can do for them. i got to know a boy called Marlius who then taught me to play some hand game. it sure was fun. For the next few days. i had some problems trying to remember the names of the children there. After the visit, we went back to the hotel for our planning and rest!!

On the 2nd day, we started work at the orphanage but there were difficulties which surfaced such as the attempt in assembling a cupboard which has no instruction manual. Next thing we know, the screwdriver was a lousy one and can hardly screw the screws in. Well, rather than just let it be, i thought might as well ask the 'kakak' if there is any hardware shop around so that we can buy new screwdrivers. She then asked Johan to bring me to the hardware shop nearby. Wow.. i miss walking barefooted. that walk to the hardware shop made me realize that. Was not really used to the hot and rough road but it sure was fun. While walking, i had a conversation with him and found out that they only eat fish and vegetables usually and only have meat such as chicken, etc only for special occasions such as birthdays. This is such a simple fare and yet they are surviving on them and yet here i am in a nice country, pampered with good food and sometimes putting them to waste. It sure felt bad. We then continued in assembling the cupboards while some of us worked on in the kitchen, cleaning it before painting the walls. We also shared our lunch with the childrens. After that, we there was supposed to be english lesson but the children didn't want to have lessons since it was a Sunday. So we then had a game of soccer at the field which was practically foot reflexology! Sure was impressive to see the children running barefooted and chasing after the ball when the ground were filled with rocks. Tim sure did something real nice in buying ice-cream for everyone. it was 100, 000 Rupiah worth of ice-cream which costs 2000 Rupiah each. We then went back and on the way back, our bus broke down!! ouch... We then had to 'tompang' the bus of another class to the shopping centre to do some shopping. Me and Nigel sure bought alot of groceries!! hehe..

On the third day, we aimed to finish up we have come to do. However, we didn't manage to do so. It sure was disappointing. I would have loved to stay on and do more for them or at least complete what we had gone to do but time were not on our side and there were other factors. However, the third day was still cool and memorable. I totally can't get angry easily and no way can i get angry when a person asks me to. It is just not who i am i suppose. Painting the wall wasn't as easy though i've done such work before. Unfortunately, the long pole i was using actually broke and it had lovely panda pictures on them somemore.. ughhh.. hahaha.. We mounted shelves for the children as well as some fans as their fans were not in a very good condition. This time round, Andrew bought them ice-creams.. good business for the ice-cream man ba. At the sametime, T21 arrived at the orphanage. Saw Ty and he was telling me about what happened in Sg? more or less? yeah.. was like wow?? okayyy... it has only been a few days and so much has happened? wow.. Soon, it was time to say bye to the children we have made friends with in the short period. I sure felt like just staying there with them and nor boarding the bus. Ms Yao then told us to refflect on our immediate feelings in the bus. I was filled with so much emotions that i would rather look out of the window of the bus to reflect instead of writing. It was a great feeling to have known that we have done something nice for them and yet it is also very sad to know that our efforts only bring them temporary benefits. Would they ever become our domestic worker one day? possible. it is just sad to know how we live in a deluded world at times. The most shocking event that happened was about Kevin!!! that was... errrr... wow??

Last day was then shopping day!!! It was cool!! but yet sad... what am i doing shopping? i would have gladly followed T21 back to the orphanage... ughhhh...

Back in Singapore, i caught up with what has happened the past few days and hmm.. why are we living in so much problems and unhappiness when there are people out there who live simply and yet live life to the fullest and happily? Are we just too pampered and wish to pursue what we see as 'true' happiness? I'm guilty of that and how simple things can make me unhappy. Everything is about me but what about others? How do they feel? Are there others worst off? So what if we know so much and are sociable? So what if we are attached or like someone? We are still living in a very pampered condition. proper clothes, branded ones at that. Here we are worrying about what clothes to wear from our already huge wardrobe, about which games we should buy, about blogging away about our lives, about spending time with people we are close to and many more when there are many others out there who have no such worries but rather of how are they going to survive and all.. Sometimes i wonder..... is happiness gained through simplicity? Is generosity gained through hardships? and well, there are just many things...

Batam OCIP eve

2008-11-21T20:42:00.002+08:00

Well, another week has passed.. as of now, just excited about the Batam OCIP trip.. though will miss the friends here, but they are classmates there too. heh. well, it sure was an enjoyable week and sorta went out quite abit for ocip stuff.. totally interesting.. well, today is an interesting day too and it sure was surprising, a pleasant one.. never thought i would get that this fast but it's real sweet.. hehe.. thanks to you.. sure was a way to send off someone.. can't really think properly now.. not sure what to write and all..

Love?

2008-11-17T23:14:00.002+08:00

Love is sweet and soothing, but at the same time, it is bitter and hurtful. We then see how an idea can have 2 sides to be viewed from. It is then back to the point of our freedom of choice. Tendency to look from one point of view is highly possible depending on the happening that has been happening around.. Though one may be happy, but it is sad to know that when one's happy there are those close who aren't happy.. What can be done? sometimes, advices and pointers just fall on deaf ears as one may be adamant in doing what one believes.. that sure is a challenging phase which one may encounter in life.. how do one oversome such phases? the answer is not applicable as different people = different way of approaching things = different answers. is it easier to be irational in times of sadness? maybe??

Generally, things has been going on and on and on.. time passes on and little has been done.. OCIP is approaching and it will sure be a time of missing of those close around.. praying that everyone'll alright and well especially those who aren't at the moment.. today was cool.. went online and did abit of work in the morning before going out.. It was an experience.. It was an instant where one do not feel so helpless anymore and at the same time, it was unexpected that things happen but overall, i'm happy with what is happening.. courage comes from many sources and sometimes, you'll be surprised at how much courage and motivation you can give as an individual to another person.

Pleasant surprise

2008-11-07T00:09:00.002+08:00

Well, went out today and it was an interesting time and all.... but think i didn't handle it as well as i should have....

But basically it was a great day and Celiniaaaaaa totally is super duper cute and sweeeeet.... Never have i gotten such a great thing ever... thank you!!!! me shall do something... asap!!!!! cheerios yea

Completion

2008-11-06T00:35:00.002+08:00

OP is finally OVER!!! it feels so great that hols can officially start but at the same time, it would mean the start of revision or more like catching up with the times i ahve lost this year alone. In a way it is something that is feasible but if only i have the one important thing which is discipline since i have already sorta in a way got motivated to study with the promotion resuls that would be coming out this Friday. things been going quite alright i guess and this Fri is gonna be so full of surprises!!!! behold people... weirdsssssssssssss.....

Sorta miss the people who hang out in church.... oh wells.. soon enough maybe.. alright some of the peolpe includes Lowell, TY, JusEva, Sam, Brendan, Celinia, Andrea and ughhh many more la.. lazy to name?? well, guess it does include Rach too?? hahaha.. weirdsssss...

Happy and yet sad

2008-11-02T21:51:00.005+08:00

There comes a time when everything seems great and things are going toward a better path but at the same time, unforeseen events makes one sad... there are many issues and things that one may know but at the same time this is not known by the parent who then assumes that their child is fooling around and wasting time or even go "galavanting"... just as how the parent do not know what the child has done, the child also do not know what the parent has done and things are seen to be more comfortable left as how it is.. Upon realization, nothing actually gets better and instead, the situation may turn out to be worst than ever.. what should be done next? wishing isn't an option as it is not going to help if no action is taken.. trying seems to be such a hard thing to do after all the wisdom and love that has been passed down.. at times, it feels so much better to just stone right there and then and just gives them the answer that is expected just like in an examination. the usual way of answering.. but it will just result in a vicious cycle.. where to go? try or give up? share or bottle up? one-way or two-way? at times just wished tt parents are best friends who will just listen to all your problems anytime u need them and give word of encouragement instead of going straight to the scolding section but though attempts may have been made, sometimes, damages tt has been done to one's mindset takes a much longer time and effort to be repaired..

just unsure of how to go about doing things..... no one to blame as one is a master of their own lives and chooses the way of life that would be led in the future.... should i have been stubborn and followed what i had actually wanted than to try something that is uncertain? maybe.. but too late for any regrets so forward is the only way out..

beyond belief

2008-11-01T22:44:00.002+08:00

Sometimes things happens the way you want them to be and sometimes they don't.. God really provides one with what one needs and not what one wants or yearns for.. Promotion seems so bleak at one point and the next thing i know i meet the promotion criteria. It was a pleasant surprise as i myself know that i have been most guilty of procrastination and fooling around more than i once did for O's. Well, it is time to work like even though exams sorta just ended and holidays are just starting.. Things around are also getting better in every way. Though there may still be some issues that are yet to be settled but i guess things are much more stable as compared to it was.. or i hope it is..... at times dilemmas are such an irritant.. what would one do? it will so affect the results and at the same time, trying to cover up for something is not a good option. guess the best is just to be who you really am and let others appreciate you for who you really am and not for who you portray yourself to be or wants them to know you as.. but of course different people has got different opinions on just this trivial matter which makes it into such an untrivial matter..

At the same time. it is such a sad thing to know so much and yet there is little that can be done as there are promises made.. the best that can be done is to give advice and hints but whether it will be taken up is totally another issue as sometimes people just say yes to something for the short term and only realizes their mistake in the long term. ugh... just dun feel like writing much anymore.. somethings are just meant to be kept in the head.. cheers.............

LIfe

2008-10-28T22:38:00.002+08:00

Life continues and does not wait for anyone. just like in econs, one may fail to recognise the future benefits of doing something and would be inclined towards the short-term benefits. In econs, this would fall under the category of demerit good which is deemed to be undesirable by the government and yet is being overconsumed.pleasant things happen and unpleasant things do happen too. well, motivation for studying is found through ________ but at the same time, many things happen around and for someone who is easily distracted, the focus is seen to disappear real fast. feels bad for what has happened but there isn't much that can be done for the damage that has been done.

I've suddenly lost my train of thoughts and what i wanted to write. oh well..

ugh

2008-10-27T23:23:00.002+08:00

Well, things are bound to happen and misunderstandings too. not revealing what is going on just yet but just that my line has been crossed so just be careful..

Shift happens

2008-10-27T01:34:00.002+08:00

The title of this post sorta was taken from a ppt presentation tt can be found in slideshare.net but that is beside the point as the true meaning that i am getting at is the same phrase but just without the "f". yeah sadly, that is the case.

There is just a sudden bombardment of unpleasant event which in a way affects those around. I am not too sure what to do and i am sorry for sometimes being so nonsensical and neglecting the needs to be serious. I am not too sure where i should head on from here. should i take this path or should i take the other? both are just as hazardous and it sure will be an ardous journey. some paths are even sickening until it drives my appetite off.. like come on.. ugh.. love is so not about making the other party happy and all.. ugh...

Taken from 1 Corinthians

13:4 Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud;

13:5 love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs;

13:6 love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth.

13:7 Love never gives up; and its faith, hope, and patience never fail.

13:8 Love is eternal. There are inspired messages, but they are temporary; there are gifts of speaking in strange tongues, but they will cease; there is knowledge, but it will pass.

13:9 For our gifts of knowledge and of inspired messages are only partial;

13:10 but when what is perfect comes, then what is partial will disappear.

Class BBQ!!!!!

2008-10-25T06:05:00.003+08:00

has just reached home from a night out at Ana's house. cycled all the way to Orchard area and then back to home. it was cool.. sorta tiring but ooh.. cycling in the morning is cool as the roads are empty. slept a little while a movie was being shown but effectively, no sleep. The long weekends are so taken up by activities. yesterday had class bbq, today will have hike, tmr will have lessons and project work meeting after that and on Monday will have planning strategy stuff.. ugh.. if only can cut fown abit and relax one corner.. ugh...

Class BBQ is superb!! everyone was there.. even DEBS who we thought may not be able to come.. sorta arrived at the place abit late as i was cycling there and sorta miss a turning and ended up elsewhere instead of where i was supposed to be. the food there was also great. well, at the end of it, me, Jude, Tim, Andrew, Ee Ling and Dee stayed over and we like played WII and all!! it was super fun but well, there are some things in live that isn't as pleasant. oh well..

bleahz tooo tired to blog anymore................

Post-promos

2008-10-24T00:34:00.003+08:00

Currently working on Oral Presentation of the group.. Sometimes slacking has its limits too i suppose.. sorta tired but well, there isn't any choice i suppose. Well, things has been happening on without much time to think about what is next.

1stly, results are so out and i've succeessfully gotten myself promoted into J2 or i think i have but my results aren't the best one can have.. it was like SUEDS.. yea but just enough.. but guess that is what i will get for not studying at all.. but i am nevertheless glad.

2ndly, OP is so sucky.. ugh.. irritating.. it would be so much more easier if it was taken away from syllabus.. just finishing up on script now as i don't think impromptu is a good idea..

3rdly, tmr is class party!! so exciting though in a way i have been to slack and anti-social to mingle ard in school.. ooops.. oh well.. one year has passed yet again and when i thought nothing of the sort might occur, it just had to occur.. in a way it drives one to study and yet in another way, i am not sure.. the next 2 months shall decide my fate??

that's that then.. need to get back to work..

Promoted

2008-10-22T00:31:00.001+08:00

Alright!! Results are out and i so just barely met the promotional criteria and woo.. too tired to write more.. bleahz..

not so lucky

2008-10-12T00:25:00.004+08:00

Planned to go cycling to SJI on Friday and it was nearly a success except for the fact that the bike ran over some metal bar and there goes the tyre.. flat as it can be.. was like so ouch please to see that tyre flat.. then walked to the bike shop near coronation plaza to try to ask for new wheels or new inner tube but changing it was like $14.. that was like totally ex.. no way.. then chose to walk all the way back.. to like Jalan Jurong Kechil to replace the inner tube.. costed $8 which was so much more worth it. totally. but at the same time it sure was a painful time for my poor soles. and it was such a hot day that i automatically turned red.. ouch.. at least it wasn't a lonely walk.. yea.. well, next thing i know i am cycling my smaller bike and used it to cycle to yew tee and it so got me more red.. well, time passes and i wonder.. what am i doing.. i am so purposely making hings hard for everyone including myself.. is it really a cover or is it a truth? i wonder but i already know what it is.. well, acceptance in progress.. well, at least got games from Gab!!! thanks so much man.. give me some live... yea.. hehe.. cheersall.. all the best for promos results to all who are still waiting for them..

Nice song

2008-10-08T12:07:00.002+08:00

Song: Mandy Moore

There's a song that's inside of my soul
It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again
I'm awake and in the infinite cold
But You sing to me over and over and over again

Chorus:
So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands
And pray to be only Yours
I pray to be only Yours
I know now You're my only hope

Sing to me of the song of the stars
Of Your galaxy dancing and laughing
and laughing again
When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that You have for me over again

(Chorus)

I give you my destiny
I'm giving You all of me
I want Your symphony
Singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs I'm giving it back

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands
And pray to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I pray to be only Yours
I know now You're my only hope

Touched

2008-10-08T01:25:00.003+08:00

Has just finished watching a great movie that i had ever seen in my entire life.. it was such a moving plot. "A Walk to Remember" sure is amovie that i will never ever forget.. How the love of a person can actually bring about a miracle. we might and might not experience such a thing but it sure pushes one to try rather than to just superficially fall for one as there is a deeper meaning to what love actually is. sometimes i wonder how often or whether there are such cases happening around as i have not heard of one. or it may just be me who has unconsciously overlooked such incidences. This sure is an enlightenment especially at this period of time where there are some wo actually are facing such problems. just give it the best that we can give and live without regrets.

One of the thing that really struck me was that Love is like the wind. We may not see it but we can feel it definitely.

Midst of Promos

2008-10-04T00:13:00.002+08:00

This is sure quite a scary time where there is so much to do and yet so little time to do things.. Shall just give it what can be given i suppose. It has been quite a week of fun and yet scary times?? GP was alright while i am not to certain on China studies.. Lit ws here and there.. just hope i dun screw both parts.. maths is a confirm fail while i s must pass econs no matter what.. and lit in order to go to J2 or else Poly? coz i am so not gonna spend another year in JC..

Cycling is cool....

Soon and very soon

2008-09-24T23:26:00.003+08:00

Fury swept over me when i heard of the news but at the same time, i was guilty of it myself. That was such a jerk please.. One that i won't accept nor tolerate. Be thankful
that i dunno who you are or you are so gonna feel what was felt.. Just pray that things will be fine.

Piece of ******FUCKER!!!!!!

Well, soon it'll be promos.. sorta more prepared for it as compared to mid years but am still quite scared.. will just have to do my best and in case of anything, shall plan for the situation which might happen.. Astounded by how events happen just like that..

Though deep down, it pierces right through

I will just do what i had promised to the very best and yea. Loves to all..

14 more days or maybe lesser....

2008-09-16T00:47:00.002+08:00

Well, time sure passes so fast that i wish i had more.another day has just passed.Well, i once thought i had seen the cutest, nicest and best and irreplacable but i was proven wrong.. At this age. such things are nearly always far from being possible no matter how much we think things will be smooth and cool. Today alone i thought i just saw another but hmmm comes back to the basis of appearance VS reality. Thus in conclusion, sometimes through hyperbole, one may succeed in conveying one's feelings but at the same time one unconsciously deludes onself and says the best when situations are similar to being in a utopian place. However, when we experienced a dystopia, we see how it is such an unfamiliar situation to us. One may say that it is how one handles the changing phase but it is ironically that phase that one loses control. Blame it on fate or destiny or whatever one may know it as. As much one may love to be in utopia, one must realize the cost of attaining that utopia. it may be a small cost or it may even such a drastic cost that may leave a scar. One may then want to find a replacement and may be impressed and deluded and amazed and comforted and glad of getting replacement to what one is used to have but when the truth comes alive, one then becomes utterly disappointed and a great sense of pathos is created within oneself. The cycle may seem to end but truth is it will never end no matter what or how one think it might. This is showcased in the settlement of the masses.They may still experience unfamiliaritywith what is going on but one can safely say uncoditional love i the ultimate emotion that one can never have. The best one can is to have something similar or what they percept as "unconditional love" which then leads to the idea of acceptance, forgiving, compromising and may more..Thus, in conclusion, what we deem is great is what we percept as right and great.

2 more weeks

2008-09-14T22:22:00.002+08:00

Another 2 more weeks to prepare and there are other stuff to worry about.. priorities must be set right and dicipline must be practiced.. Been trying to start but it just doesn't seem to work.. there is no way Retaining is an option.. not at this stage.. but......

Well, i have no idea but it sure is sad to know someone is sad and well i suppose the best one can do is to be there and listen.

Totally not likig my new room arrangement.. very...........

Mid Study break

2008-09-04T00:20:00.002+08:00

At times the power of an sms exceeds what i presume it to be.. Just a short sms is enough to make one smiles widely. Receiving the love from a friend holidaying overseas is surprising and yet really wonderful.. Thanks Celine.. Love received and returned!!!! Have fun and miss ya.. awaiting your return??

Went to school and saw mei on the way to school as well as on the way home after a game of pool with Donny.. Poor Nigella though.. sorta ps him.. sorry bro!! Lit lesson was alright and Mr K brought choc chip biscuits which were nice!! sorta hijacked one container initially!!! hahaha. then went to do econs project after lit.. it was alright and wonderfully am i smart or wad.. typed my work in email and guess it didn't save and end up i lost my work in transition.. had to re-do it ba.. curses.. At home also no diff.. macam kena computer bug.. wanted to go church to study but ended up staying home to scan pw WR and do econs project.. took so long esp since Internet had problems.. wonderful.. msned abit and talked to cheryl for the 1st time ever after meeting her in the bus on teachers' day on the way to Orchard with friends after soccer!!! wheee... heehee.. that's all... quite anti-climax so yea.. ciaoz..

Teachers' Day

2008-08-30T00:58:00.002+08:00

Teachers day has just passed!! It was a fun day out.. had actually wanted to pon school but got scared like a cat when Bro Paul announced that all those who 'pon' will be considered as suspended os something until he/she has given an mc explaining his/her 'ponning' of sch when sch re-opens.. well, then went to school for the celebration.. was quite alright i suppose. though i think the AV for the celebration could have been better. After that then went to SJI and saw friends but sadly we did not go on an outing or anything.. that was the saddest part.. but nvm, played soccer with other friends from other classes. miss playing soccer with them.. it wa quite funny too when the bell rang and we acted like as if recess was over and it was time to go back for lessons like how it used to be!! damn funny man.. sorta accidentally smack Jackston quite a few times with the ball.. sorry man.. my bad.. heheh.. my shots all attracted to him.. after soccer then we decided to go out for lunch in orchard.. saw cheryl in the bus and said hi!!! she didn't recognise Alex!! awww... poor him man.. feel so sad.. then we split up into 2 grps to have our lunch. the fastfood grp (which i obviously joined) and the non-fastfood.. Great.. they then decided to walk over to Meridien in order to play pool and when we went there, the place was packed.. so sad.. the grp then left while me and Alex stayed on as there were other sji friends there. played one game but it was alright.. fun.. then went home with Alex in 174.. we chatted abit before we both literally ko!! i must have been like a pendulum swinging.. poor passenger next to me.. i guess..

Reached home at 6.30 and had to rush to go to church fr tgif with my cat class grp!! was a lil late i guess.. ooops.. in the end there were only 5 of them who came.. the rest sorta mia.. had pizza for tgif and well.. was fun talking to them and all.. and sorta crack lame jokes and all!! as usual.. went into night study room and lowell!!! u gotta focus man!!!! if he even gonna read this!!! hahaha.. more pizza came and of coz i went back to get some... nice... the grp then started leaving ard 9 after some talking session!! tim and justin was there too.. heehee.. e rest of the info is tsk tsk.. ahaha..

Thanks Celine!!! you have a safe and enjoyable trip to Cheena man.. will miss you=)

Not the only one

2008-08-26T23:21:00.002+08:00

Your emotions soothe the wavering heart,
Your actions are scarily similar,
it might not have been clear,
But your tears spoils the tart.

There are various options,
but you choose that unique kite.
It may not fly up to the moons,
but you persist though wind may bite.

Your friends offers you themselves,
So that you will smile genuinely,
Stubbornly you like antique shelves,
They trees then weep deeply.

Light still shines,
Awaiting your reach,
It's you they pines,
Your red it likes to breach.

You've got a friend

2008-08-24T00:12:00.003+08:00

My goodness...If there was ever one song that totally moved me the first time i hear it, it's You've got a friend by McFly..Thanks Celine!!! You rock!!! Thank you for being a great friend too!!!

Sharing of retarded and yet funny childhood stories is super cool..

"All stories are true, but not all actually happen"

What we want may not be what we will get but we will get what we need. Happiness can ba attained in many ways and not necessarily through the means that we believe it should be..

Friends

2008-08-20T22:58:00.002+08:00

Not too sure where to start... Days has been passing on like there's an end approaching... Nothing much has been achieved from the days... However, just an hour or so ago, a truly happy event happened... The similarity to the parable of the "Prodigal Son" was there... it was lost for a period of time and there it is the reunion. Though it was quite sad to see and know her to be in that situation, only the best could be given to someone you care for. The welcoming back of something you lost is truly a great event. So great that it brings about strength to continue on with life. Worries are replaced by soothing relief and the greatest joy to that reunion was to know that she is feeling much better after the time spent. She made me realize how at times there is no such thing as 100% getting over emotions. There is bound to be that bond so strong that nothing can ever break it. What we can do is move on and take things as they come. It is really sad to know someone caring a damned lot but is returned with what we regard as extremely horible treatment. The comfort one tries to provide for the other is a simple act and it the other chooses to ignore that simple act, the hurt brought about by that is so immense that it might affect a person emotionally as well as physically. Attempts are made to not feel that hurt but silly as we are, sometimes we just can't help being so sweet and nice to the one we care. Why are we like that? It is just our nature and there is nothing that we can do about it. It felt totally great.. the brief and yet meaningful chat session after the long period of time where we didn't communicate due to a reason which i am not too sure what it is myself..

Frigging dying from work and work and work and test!!!!!
Have fun..
Ciaos..
back to work.. thru the night...

National Day

2008-08-09T13:37:00.002+08:00

Sorta quite bored but of course shouldn't be bored and be studying at home now for promos.. well, it took sometime to understand but to see it form a different anngle sure helps me realized what made life hard.. The bond that was created unconsciously by ourselves totally will stay that way no matter how we go on with life or how we try to start anew.. maybe that is why i am not too keen on getting commitments.. bleahz.. not mature enough too to handle all the extra-corricular activites ba.. well, minor issues might have happened which so dangeroulsy close to getting involved in commitments... bla... bla bla... back to work bla.... stuck here for now...

Just some pics.. the ones not censored!!!!

2008-08-08T23:02:00.004+08:00

lickerz??
not sure what was with my face!
slacking away illegally...........
totally unglam while enjoying food..
Well, so as to not make this blog like a GP essay!!! Woots.. fun playing soccer for abit today but legs sorta aches.. tsk tsk.. too bad didn't get to play pool and well, nothing much?? except i off the tv halfway while watching the opening ceremony of the Beijing 08 Olympics??

The oother pictures are too unsuitable for viewers of age 10 and above!!! so too bad!!! scandalous!!

Pre 08/08/08

2008-08-07T23:45:00.003+08:00

Quite a fair bit has happened.. well, 1stly gained some great frenz as well as met great old frenz like David.. TOday quite a fair bit happened but oh well.. quit a day of tutorials.. tiring and all and bleahz sorta slacked and didn't do maths corrections and then kena.. supposed to stay back after school but ended up ponning.. like yea.. how to do when ppl already so tired? sorrybut had to do it the impolite way.. ba.. so much for a bad day.. but i met David!!! a good friend that i've not really kept in touch with since pri sch.. he's changed.. a nicer person.. i am glad for u David and i will be awaiting the day i'll have ur companion once again in church.. and gosh what's with all the dears man.. mark my words it's dears with and A and not like Deer with the E.. ok just abit of a lame issue?? well, find her really interesting.. nice to chat and all.. woots.. and gosh sorta talked to like li yi again.. missed her a whole lot man.. things happen and man.. heh.. glad to still have her =) next Sat will be retreat and this SAt gonna go M'sia?? oh baby.. my weekends are taken?? and tmr MASS DANCE!!!! wth needa walk all the way to CCAB.. it'll be cool so the wth is actually like redundant?? well, not sure if may end up playing pool after tt.. see how i suppose.. yea.. just finished maths corrections but still have econs to rush.. gosh.. about like 7 more weeks and there is like so much hw jsut for this 4 days of break? like as if we have a whole week please.. but gosh it sure has been a pleasant time.. oh and yea i found out my angel's name.. so cool.. but maybe abit shy?? never get reply.. sad!!! nvm.. can try to get her to talk more.. she seems quite open.. dunno.. but i dunno wad's up with me either.. sms blowing up please and there is no reason for it to blow up.. oh wow.. alright shall go back to econs.. ciaosss.. err. bit lazy to link?? maybe next time?? heh

Roughly 7 more weeks

2008-07-30T23:48:00.003+08:00

TIme passes and feelings changes but without any tries, nothing will be done.. well, it was nice to get new things but hmmm.. haha.. bad in another way? woots.. done with EoM at last.. she sure was one really uber tough nut to crack.. even the nutcracker won't be enough.. bleahz.. shan't update much.. need my sleep for morning 2.4 tmr.. gosh.. wad an event.. oh yea man.. 3 hrs break for tmr.. lolz.. oh yea.. time to catch up peeps.. and it's only abt 7 more weeks to promos.. life depends on it partly.. here we go..

Back from Parish Camp 08

2008-07-29T18:53:00.002+08:00

The only picture i have for now. taken with Kellie (SP is cool)

A camp that was over the weekend ended with loads of fun.. Was actually assigned to the grp St.Anthony but because Josh and Germain wasn't present so i had the honours of taking over their group for the day.. well, not sure how i felt but that i had to face about 16 new faces and bond them by Sunday and oh man am i glad that i did went to grp St.Paul.. that's like a totally nice name please.. the activities were cool such as rafting, kayaking and dragon boating..i really am glad that my group members are open and hmmm cool? and yea sorta kena shot here and there but it was real nice to be with them.. sorta miss them? hahaha.. am still now abit dark or more like pink from the wondeful heat the sun provided for my body.. man.. got to know new friends and all.. sorta achieved what i wanted in getting to know someone =p hehehe.. wa dunno wad else to write but maybe when i have more time i will.. it's like 3 hrs of pw tmr so gonna do my EoM luike real soon after Love Blossoms.. chao ppl... Nexus tmr!! wad a cca..

About 8 more weeks left

2008-07-21T17:13:00.002+08:00

It sure has been quite a day.. supposed to end like at 1 o'clock but had to stay for maths remedial and then after that was GP make-up lecture.. goodness.. so much for the upcoming promos.. oooh... so lil time for any other thing.. well, Experience sure is a tough teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.. well, can one actually make the same mistake again after being taught by experience? suppose that is possible as different people wants different things in life.. happiness comes in many forms and well, one of the best happiness is to know that those you care for are doing well and are happy.. hahaha.. alright man.. bah.. can't blog much.. back to the irritating and possessive stead.. sad but no choice..

PTM day

2008-07-19T22:53:00.002+08:00

It wasn't as bad as i thought it would be.. it was instead an encouraging instance.. thank you so much =) guess i was working on the base of bad assumptions but i was proven wrong and here i am..people make mistakes.. 1st due to carelessness and the greatest mistake is sin.. and well i do care a damn lot and i shall just say that i am not running away.. there is no point in assuming that there is still something and that we are running when in fact we are just real close and am i glad that is the case.. well, went to school at 7.30 for Nexus duty.. was quite fun.. the quiet guy has turned into one who gets customers to the stall.. a small difference which means alot.. well, time is running and soon it will be promos and so it's time to study and surprise after the heart attack.. and Mon marks the end of the angel and mortal pw stuff or will it not? that shall be seen.. and tmr is cat class.. gosh.. people are surprising ; ) oh no i forgot something.. aiyo.. lol.. time to do it now..

Hwking

2008-07-15T22:44:00.002+08:00

Wa.. gosh.. it felt quite good to actually do hw since i haven't really actually seriously done it for some time.. yea man.. trying my best to not procrastinate.. sure quite interesting to have the angel and mortal thingy in school.. well maybe in a way it helped me realize how i am anti-social at times please.. in a way not too willing to come out of my comfort zones? yea.. but now well, work is pilling.. just doing the most that i can get out of a day.. soon it'll be promos and i sure won't want to get retained.. gosh Step-Up dance is so wootss.. shake it baby.. yea.. getting to see the joy of living is done.. it's like a female's action can move a guy and make him turn over a new leaf? hahah.. quoted from a source like yea.. and man.. thursday is cool please.. n not cool.. gonna finish school at 1 i think coz of A's MT listening compre and i only have lessons till 10.. after that is break all the way till 1 like wth am i gonna do in that period of time sia.. guess i will find something constructive to do.. well, hmmm.. choices is a word.. but in a way we must be able to make the choices and not have our choices be limited by issues or qualifications and all.. that might be a goal worth looking into? gosh.. it's 8 min more to my sleep time.. been doing work since 8 and decided to break abit and use the comp to chill out? oh yea.. msn.... wahahahha.... and it's now time to zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....................

Awakened

2008-07-12T22:27:00.002+08:00

Living in a delusion sure is dangerous but thankfully at times there will be events that will be an awakening to us.. yea.. the mid years sure was one.. it was a total disappointment.. We are afterall humans.. We seek pleasure in the things we do and not many would be able to resist that temptation.. Thus i believe it's important to really consider it with all your true heart on whether you should do.. maybe the only consolation is that there are others who has also gone through your plight.. Just waiting for you to discover them so that they can share their experience as well.. Obviously things may be blatant but well, i just hope that this next 3 months is a time where i won't procrastinate and there isn't really much time to go hanky-pankying around.. and if someone dares tease me that person is so gonna get the me that not many has seen.. too bad not many knows of my blog.. lol.. anw it's time to get back to work.. chao ppl..

Youth Day

2008-07-07T18:28:00.002+08:00

Well in a way this marks the end of the enjoyment in life.. time to get serious and study..spent the morning at home stoning before going out.. it feels abit different but it has always been different.. it's just how one handles the situation it is time to change.. friends are the best and that is what i will achieve and not what i will try to achieve.. an end to a word would mean a beginning of a new word.. i feel bad.. i have changed but i don't think it's for the better.. that is where i have to correct my path.. well at times you have to stand by your beliefs and word and not be affected by anyone.. since we can't make everyone happy, why not compromise and give everyone a fair chance.. it is the best one can do as an individual.. being emo or even acting emo is not gonna help as it will only affect those ard.. there are many things in life just like how science and technology develop. people do too so we cannot assume that the person we knew back then is still the same exact person.. we would have to adapt to the changes and do things accordingly rather than assume and anger the person we care for, our friends.. and that bugger.. watch wimb finals and play soccer till too tired to play pool.. gonna make sure u roll down.. like of coz i am kidding alright.. and it's back to school tmr.. alright..gonna do hw and then do whatever i need to as i promised and it is not just an empty promise.. time to carry out what one has said and not let it be stagnant.. thus is today..

Youth DAy?

2008-07-06T23:36:00.002+08:00

it has sure been quite a day.
alot happened..
who to share to?
are you willing to listen?
replies are rare..
no matter how many tries are taken.
who really care?
are things that simple?
why do you change and spoil?
can one really be omniscient?
what do you want?
why are you doing this?
do you know?
what is this world about?
why do we refuse to help ourselves?
can love be so fragile?
why don't you be stubborn in love?
the way you can be stubborn to parents,etc.
what is the point if you are not serious?
procrastination brings you nowhere.
now i see a different light.
that i once refused to see.
at times it really can't be helped.
why do you say so if you don't mean it?
please don't promise if u are only going.
keep your promise as long as you live.
a chellenge for all that lives.
it's irritating at times.
but it's how one handles things..
minds are full of thoughts..
expressing requires space..
space may sometimes be short..
and this is all to blurt out..
continuation may not be favourable..
sorry..

have known but still letting nature to take its own course

2008-07-03T21:21:00.002+08:00

That is how it has been.. A dangerous life where one becomes passive and just let things happen without intervening much.. also known as the "bo chap" attitude.. it something that would be easy to pick up and yet hard to give up.. what a bad habit.. well, loads of stuff are going on.. so gonna get an earful for next week when i get back my results.. good game people.. well, there may be something else going on but well, though abit fearful but doubt i will take any actions.. not as of now i suppose.. alot need to be settled.. studies.. pw.. etc.. looking forward to going back to SJI for Anniversary Parade.. so fast and here i am going back as a old guy... oh man.. 4 yrs of life just went pass.. The AP 2 yrs ago was sure memorable and special.. though i wished that last year was also special as it was the last time i would be marching in SJI grounds but circumstances deny me of that special day.. just glad that at least it was special in another way.. though at that time i wasn't guided by my head but rather by my heart.. this year should be special.. yea.. not that i am not guided by my heart still now.. haha.. difficulties are faced.. overcoming it sure isn't as easy..

Finished

2008-06-26T11:24:00.002+08:00

Thus was the end exams.. raped by maths but oh well only have myself to blame for not putting in the necessary effort.. praying that will pass the other subjects.. June will soon be over and soon it's July.. a special time.. sometimes there are many things in life that will distract us.. that may lead us astray.. however, we have the choice to choose what we want.. to delude or to live up to reality.. of course delusions are easier options as it is much more pleasant than the harsh reality of life.. at times we try our best in things but still it isn't enough and may end up only hurting us even more but why not just do what you can and see what happens instead of trying and trying and trying? we are an extent hypocrites ourselves and may find ourselves guilty of hypocrisy.. consider the many times we tell others not to do something which we ourselves consciously or unconsciously do.. it is not our fault either as we are still humans.. letting go of something that we like sure is hard but we will never move on if we don't let go.. imagine how life would be without that negative aspect of life which only brings more harm than good? sometimes we will have a hard time too making a difference between appearance and reality.. who actually is that person whom you call a friend, a teacher, a parent or even a lover.. how many actually accept you for who you are no matter how you may never change your behaviours.. well, if you find one then possibly it might be someone whom you'll spend your life with.. haha.. how about also not expecting too much and know why another person isn't too happy with you and address the situation through talking and all instead of just resorting to anger? there is a reason to everything one would do.. though it may be a challenge for some but we sure have to be who we are and not put on any mask.. so what if others see you happy but deep inside you aren't? you are lying to them and worst you are lying to yourself.. we want many things in life.. many many.. attention, love, concern, material things, character and many more but what use is there to want if there is nothing done or worst that you are just drowned in your own negativity that totally pulls you away from your fulfilling of your wants.. instead of looking at things from a pessimistic point of view, why not look from the optimistic view and challenge yourself.. it is always easy to break something and get a new one but why not challenge yourself to try and maintain that thing you have? no matter how challenging it may be.. you can't just give up when things are hard for you.. when things are too hurtful but why the hurt? because there is a special connection between you and that thing or may even be person.. so don't you dare in your moment of anger say you do not care about that thing or person.. it may just bring more hurt and it will accumulate.. one may say why not just let go but what is the point of letting go and not caring? won't the same thing happen again in future? how many times would you want it to happen before you see how serious the matter is? what if that person just dies the next moment? you'll live life with full of regrets.. love is a very strong word that is shared amongst everyone.. so use it wisely and not for the sake of saying or for the sake of proving that you are with someone.. sometimes love is a silent word that is meant to be felt and not said..

hmmm.. that was quite some blabbering.. no idea what was that about..haha.. well, with the completion of mid yrs, here comes the next surprise.. promos.. oh man.. shall enjoy 1st though supposed to suffer 1st then enjoy.. tmr is the day... should i stay? or not.. the days are over but what can be done is just support.. i yearn for it but yet i daren't make any moves.. it is similar to a lost connection.. can i reboot and get back the connection? that is obviously a yes but as it takes two hands to clap, this feeling must not only be mine.. and now to slack time again.. cycling is tempting but it is super hot... no way will i cycle in this weather unless there is a very important reason to do so or at least something that is important in my belief...

Nearing the end

2008-06-23T20:27:00.002+08:00

The hols are nearly over.. so are exams.. just one last paper on Wednesday which is mathematics.. well, just hoping that it will be a pass for each subjects as i know that i have not fully settled down.. am now just doing whatever i could for maths.. it is not enough to let me pass but i should at least try.. and here i go..
oh man.. right hand is injured.. after a simole game of badminton.. this is bad.. couldn't even lift a pail of water and walk.. don't think will be good if i exert more weight on that poor arm..
well, it was sweet walking down that path once again.. flashes came back.. do wonder at times but that may only mean i am deluding myself further.. a friend's blog struck me.. it was well something worth pondering over.. is it possible? well it sure is when we are happy and all but when things turn bad and sour, we tend to forget the happiness that has been shared.. focus is now given to that anger and unhappiness.. this is so true.. what is the true meaning? that is what i would like to know.. suppose maturity plays a big role.. if it so easy to let go and get another, i guess i will rather not have a go for that beats the whole purpose of what i believe in.. the weightage of it.. don't just say and do on impulse but really mean it and when one really does it, one will not sway so easily.. be true and you will see the joy of that which you have at every point of your life.. be deluded and it will just be there and easily broken and you will sway and you will see another in no time.. well everyone has their reasons.. we as people also tend to hang around people who are in the know or are better than us but we sometimes miss out those who are actually just keeping quiet and do not want too much attention.. sometimes it is hard too to even try..

i want to understand....
i want to compromise.....
i want to care...
i want to wish...
i want to have so many more other wants that i might well continue typing till i drop dead right in front of the computer screen..

well, that's all there is for now..

Live each day to the fullest without regrets

2008-06-16T23:21:00.002+08:00

Well, i'vejust realized how that is really true once again.. it just never penetratre through my really stubborn head.. i thought it would just a few months back but here i am slacking off.. guess i was wrong but now it is abit late.. mid-yrs are like starting on Fri.. can only do so much for it.. high chance the freedom i have will disappear..
I am unsure but at times, things sure happen and one will realize how one's life is lived to the fullest.. tendency to waste time and taking things for granted are some things that i am very much guilty of.. i pray my fears will not be true but if it does come true, well, it will and i wil have to make the nevessary amendments once again.. this time it better be serious or i will definitely regret living.. guess my 1st chance came 11 years ago.. i took that chance and life was great but however it took a turn and here i am stuck.. gotta turn back or else it won't be an easy road..

Jubilee Run

2008-06-15T22:17:00.002+08:00

Yea.. team Need For Speed.. It was a good run for all and well, hope everyone enjoyed the run. it was quite an experience. haven't ran for sometime. i believe tmr my legs would be as good and wobbly as jelly..oh man. oh and i haven't trimmed my hair!! dang.. exams starting this Fri and i am super nervous..
Well, at times, i have no idea what is going on actually.. who is it actually? is it just me or is it that things has changed in a way? i have realized how weird it feels to be a lamp post that like shines all ard.. unlike the past.. guess sometimes it is not as easy as it is to put oneself in the shoes of others.. as much as i would love to talk and converse and catch up even though i know it won't be the same as before.. but well as much as i love to but if it is one-way, i can't get farther than i already am.. sometimes words sting without one's realization.. at times, i guess we take things for granted.. we enjoy all and we forget the basics of understanding each other.. i myself am guilty.. sometimes it is just so hard not to do what we know as bitching or in better terms, sharing your problems with another person.. well, i guess we will stay frenz for i daren't do anything for the fear of losing a fren.. as much as i enjoy the companion but i guess there must be a fine line drawn in the things we do in life as i learnt in the hard way in life.. one slight wrong move might just cause such a huge impact in life.. i might not be the only person to have made the mistake but i have no idea how one can just get on and just take on another.. i totally find that ridiculous and just well totally beats the purpose in my opinion.. i guess it is just me.. too serious maybe?lol...well, maybe coz i see 2 and am reminded of the wonderful times which i miss but hmmm, guess though i can't have them for now, guess in the future it might be a totally different story..
well, i guess that's that for now, gotta need start mugging for mid-yrs which is like this coming Fri.. if i still don't start, i might as well not go for the paper and i am so not gonna disappoint all the trusts that has been put forth.. thanks all..

Fun is Over

2008-06-13T22:33:00.002+08:00

It is now time to go back to studying since already had fun for the past few weeks and days..
Best ever time.. thanks everyone.. love you all.. camp was cool.. 1st day was pretty slack but 2nd day was great.. cycling!! fun fun.. totally.. it was also great to spend time with everyone.. she is special so is him.. wonderful.. 3rd day was cooking day after a wonderful time in movies of Kungfu Panda.. coolness.. wonder is it possible? hmmm.. sweetness, innocence, cuteness, oh man.. except for that small thing.. it is just great please.. it was also a time to play wii.. sleeping at the piazza was alright.. n soon it will be time to run the 5km run.. well. trying to be the same old me but neh don't think i need any effort to do that.. i am who i am.. so thanks for loving me the way i am=) yea yea.. n now well, sleep? i think so after playing abit of valhalla knights on psp.. hehe.. today was cartoon.. lolz...

KAMIKAZE!!!!!!!!!

2008-06-06T00:05:00.002+08:00

Ouch...ouch....ouch... here and there... bang bang bang... impacts was stinging man... all red though the paint is this colour, orange.. but nevertheless it was super fun.. heehee.. but that's it man.. there goes mid-yrs.. but will try my best.. yea.. shall not misplace the faith that has been entrusted.. thanks.. too tired to continue.. it was just a super fun day.. coolness baby..

Adrenaline rush (time to stop or that's it baby)

2008-06-04T23:05:00.002+08:00

it has been slack and slack and slack baby...scary...played like 3.5 hrs of pool..chao fun ba but yea..me nooby..tmr is another day out..today alone went to play tennis n true enough.. i hit 2 balls out of court.. one went to the swimming pool area i suspect.. i pray not of coz.. while the other went into the jungle.. not too bad once u get the moves but man.. sure need work on it esp backhand..it's time man to commit to the promise made.. been neglecting.... haiz.. so sorry.. my bad... it was like a totally undescribable feeling when i knew.. that totally nice feeling.. missed that feeling but thankful that i have regained it.. thanks..hope it will bloom into a better relationship =) n i will try not to neglect of coz.. that would be bad of me.. taking advantage.. no way.. anw bye peeps.. till tmr i guess... to those who reads my bloggy.. hehe///

5 months

2008-05-24T00:16:00.002+08:00

Last night, something struck me... it sure felt quite weird.. left and right.. unexpectedly the surroundings were lit up by me and my friend.. oh man.. i know where you are but i am fearful.. but i will not be influenced by the 2 incidents. i can safely say that it is what i saw.. well abit hard to be the otherwise.. buggers man.. super nia.. still dare tease me.. grrrr.. kidding.. well, no matter how i much i try to avoid it i just cannot delude myself.. oooh.. anw today was cse exam.. (China Studies in English) wow............... then after that went out abit to peninsula.. sorry to say that i dun get along as well with them as the rest.. not yet i suppose.. hmmm.. could miracles happen? is there no mistakes in life but rather misguided choices? or is it just to make things sounds nicer?

that comfort and happiness beyond words.. that gentlest touch that goes right through to your heart.. it was so obvious during that 2hrs even if it was in darkness.. tell u peeps what.. actually missed that nia.. haha.. just need to keep quiet... shhhh.. though i don't think i am making sense to any of u who are reading this... don't assume too as you may assume wrongly..

Kesemua otot hatiku ialah milikmu walaupun kadangkala ianya berdarah..

more elaboration

2008-05-19T15:01:00.001+08:00

General: ENFPs are both "idea"-people and "people"-people, who see everyone and everything as part of an often bizarre cosmic whole. They want to both help (at least, their own definition of "help") and be liked and admired by other people, on bo th an individual and a humanitarian level. They are interested in new ideas on principle, but ultimately discard most of them for one reason or another.

Social/Personal Relationships: ENFPs have a great deal of zany charm, which can ingratiate them to the more stodgy types in spite of their unconventionality. They are outgoing, fun, and genuinely like people. As SOs/mates they are warm, affectionate (l ots of PDA), and disconcertingly spontaneous. However, attention span in relationships can be short; ENFPs are easily intrigued and distracted by new friends and acquaintances, forgetting about the older ones for long stretches at a time. Less mature ENFPs may need to feel they are the center of attention all the time, to reassure them that everyone thinks they're a wonderful and fascinating person.

ENFPs often have strong, if unconvential, convictions on various issues related to their Cosmic View. They usually try to use their social skills and contacts to persuade people gently of the rightness of these views; his sometimes results in their negle cting their nearest and dearest while flitting around trying to save the world.
Work Environment: ENFPs are pleasant, easygoing, and usually fun to work with. They come up with great ideas, and are a major asset in brainstorming sessions. Followthrough tends to be a problem, however; they tend to get bored quickly, especially if a newer, more interesting project comes along. They also tend to be procrastinators, both about meeting hard deadlines and about performing any small, uninteresting tasks that they've been assigned. ENFPs are at their most useful when working in a group w ith a J or two to take up the slack.

ENFPs hate bureaucracy, both in principle and in practice; they will always make a point of launching one of their crusades against some aspect of it.

Your strongest virtue is well-developed intuition. This allows you to faultlessly determine the hidden abilities and talents in others, which you accurately point out or compliment them upon. You also try to help people understand their personal problems, often trying to help people feel more positive about them. Your first impression of people is usually the right one. You are able to maintain warm, trusting relations with people. Your feelings for others, both positive and negative are as strong as each other. You are a top class diplomat. You try to help others using your diplomatic abilities to find solutions to often difficult life situations. You help people to avoid humiliation and making hasty decisions that they might later regret.

Your will power is not as strong as it should be. You are unable to force yourself to do repetitive and laborious work as well as to keep control of yourself in some circumstances. You can become unexpectedly aggressive or push others without good reason. You find paying attention to details quite difficult. It's not easy for you to divide preliminary from secondary. You often do not think enough about the order in which to place your tasks. Because of this you are often drowning in endless work. It is also difficult for you to plan things in order to achieve goals within allotted time periods, which leads you to become physically and psychologically fatigued and unsatisfied with life.

some random test

2008-05-19T14:57:00.000+08:00

Your Type is ENFP
Extraverted
Intuitive
Feeling
Perceiving
Strength of the preferences %
11
12
75
22ENFP type description by J. Butt and M.M. Heiss ENFP Identify Your Career with Jung Career Indicator™
ENFP Famous Personalities ENFP type description by D.Keirsey--> ENFP Career Choices by
Jung Career Indicator™

ENFP Famous Personalities
-->-->

ENFP Lifestyle Preferences
by Your Type Lifestyle™
-->
ENFP type description by J. Butt and M.M. Heiss
-->
Qualitative analysis of your type formula You are:
slightly expressed extravert
slightly expressed intuitive personality
distinctively expressed feeling personality
slightly expressed perceiving personality

Yearning

2008-05-15T22:32:00.002+08:00

A choice is more than just a choice. It carries such a great consequence.. which shall i choose?

The last day the class will be playing netball=( awwww... quite sad but it will be frisbee next.. if that is how it is spelt.. Feeling bad about somethings.. Sorry but i cannot make everyone happy every single time.. no matter how hard i try to.. be free to say what you want but i choose the way i want my life to be as much as i have the chance to choose.. sometimes you might fail to clarify issues and just jump into silly conclusions or baseless accusations.. so be careful alright..

meaning

2008-05-13T22:18:00.001+08:00

Sometimes a meaning need not be yearned for but meaning will come and enlighten you..

Sometimes

2008-05-11T21:13:00.002+08:00

Sometimes we get what we want and become a happy person.. Sometimes we will not get what we want and be an unhappy person... however, Sometimes you've just got to realize that though you've lost something there will be another thing that will be in store for you.. Sometimes you will have to wait for it.. Sometimes a day, Sometimes a week, Sometimes a month, Sometimes a few months, Sometimes a year and Sometimes more than a year.. Sometimes you have to know when is the time for a certain event to happen.. Sometimes you have to know when to stop.. Sometimes you have to know why you cannot do what you want.. Sometimes you have to know that you aren't the only one around.. Sometimes you have to know where to look.. Sometimes you have to know how to think.. Sometimes you have to know how to approach problems.. Sometimes you have to know how to continue a story to make it interesting.. Sometimes we take things for granted and only realize how we have lost such a great thing.. Sometimes we slack off and do badly for tests.. Sometimes the internet does not work.. Sometimes a wish is just a wish.. Sometimes it is hard to just be happy with what we have.. Sometimes sacrifices cause more pain than hurt.. Sometimeswe cannot make everyone happy no matter what we do..Sometimes we fail too see how great a life we have.. Sometimes we just focus on negativity.. Sometimes we yearn but that is as far as it can get.. Sometimes we cannot just kick our old habits even if we want to.. Sometimes things aren't what they seem.. Sometimes we would love something new.. Sometimes we go through the same vicious cycle without realizing it.. Sometimes all it takes is just a friend.. Sometimes old things are so much better.. Sometimes we try but end up losing more than gaining anything.. Sometimes it is time to go off.. Sometimes, ideas run out.. Sometime it is time to bid farewell.. Sometimes this is unbearable but yea.. Sometimes things do not go the way we want it to be..

light

2008-05-10T00:45:00.001+08:00

lightis appearing............................

Another Friday

2008-05-09T17:35:00.002+08:00

Well, at least has got something off the tired mind. but guess when things aren't meant, they aren't. the very nostalgic feeling is there right in the face of an individual. where does that individual has to go next? being lost in a dark forest with hardly any light to guide one's path. One's wishes has to be supressed as conditions do not enable the wish to be granted. wrong turns were made many a times but it is too late to go back to that crossroad to walk the better and smoother path. but giving up is not an option or that individual would just be dead at where he is, rotting. but the individual is all alone and has lost that light that has fren who has been his guidance. all he can show the trees and forest animals is a fake self that is slowly eating him up by the minute. May be time that the individual carries on the long journey tedious journey alone, slowly but surely and forget the wrong turns that has been made. it has been a great challenge that the individual has not been able to overcome. the individual just wonders who even knows of the plight the individual is in. or is the individual just something that is oblivious? the downhill path never seems to end. is that the journey of the individual? or has the individual hastily made a decision which caused the wrong turn? Though that small glint of light was present, it was quickly supressed when the individual sees the light moving away to light up the path of another individual. the feeling the individual is feeling. who will ever know? who will ever be able to light up the path? how will he carry on in the arduous journey? how long more has he got to carry on ridiculing himself with his silly wishes? the individual shall just seek the advice of a gf and hope to attain light. the tiniest bit of light. what a sad story for the individual =p

All u need to know

2008-05-08T22:37:00.001+08:00

All you need to know is i am uncertain and shy...................

HOLIDAY!!!!

2008-05-01T15:44:00.003+08:00

oh yea.. it is May Day... wooo..fun but i shall need to start studying like now or else mati... tomorrow is sports carnival day... wheee.. netball or soccer? i wonder.... quite an interesting class t-shirt i believe. i have no idea now.. should i try something new? well, the old is like more familiar and yea.. but i fear of trying the new.. well i might just try it out as i only live once.. soon the answer will be revealed but how soon? how do i get on to doing it? is it as simple? oh mannnnn.. nvm now study 1st.. still got imte to decide man.. just waiting and seeing but of coz won't take long..... tata

Shakespeare on Love

2008-04-30T00:27:00.003+08:00

Went to catch shakespeare on love at the DBS performing arts centre with the rest of the class. it was a great time. sorta a class outing. super tired. gonna be 2nd night i will have a late night. wow. PI is so due by tomorrow. but thanks to my great teacher who helped me a great deal in doing it. anw, back to today, was quite cool that we dashed across the highway. something yea.. needless to say.. well i'm not too sure but i may have portrayed myself as a different person to my classmates. a different mask is on. oooh.

too tired to blog more..... and it's back to pi........

Time

2008-04-28T21:00:00.002+08:00

confused but am now cheered... thanks... should i? contemplation but uncertainty lingers on.
quite a day.. pi revamp in construction.. less sleep again..

(",)

2008-04-27T00:08:00.001+08:00

SJI won Bahas!!!!!!
woooo... Congrats para pembahas!!
hmmm and it's time so gather my thoughts..
and it's time i do my homeworks which are piling..
and it's time to go to lalaland if i wanna do my homework well...

Netball!!!!

2008-04-22T21:12:00.002+08:00

Today is the day. It is the day i ever played netball.. and it is part of pe.. woohooo... chao fun.. never thought i will play netball.. quite cool ba.. just that i wore the wrong kinda shoe for pe and now having two wonderful blisters on my feet. ouch.. and found gym partner.. can try start like next week.. woots.. on a side note, work load is piling up.. and so is the pressure for mid year.. and now it is back to homework...

PI

2008-04-17T22:08:00.002+08:00

oooohhh PI is due tomorrow and i so am not too confident of my PI.. oh well.. not that it is something that i will do for project work.. Secrecy and next thing i know my chance is gone.. once bitten.. but will it be a twice shy kinda thing? i will see and well it is just a matter between me and this blog of mine.. thanks Alex for that poem of memories and wishing you like all the best luck man.. but i just cannot i tell you... CANNOT... do what i would love to do for i will feel bad.. and when i mean bad it is seriously bad.. and i will be super pissed.. yea man.. n then i will have to chill myself down.. who am i? hahaha... and next up is economics homework.. then Lit file.. then GP file.. then maths term test.. n the list goes on... mercy man.... mercy..... i am being such a NATO... woohoo... jealousy, insecurity,etc.. don't worry alright.. slowly.. n there will always be frenz.. yea.. stay strong...

Nearly Monday

2008-04-13T23:33:00.002+08:00

and here i am here while Monday is so approaching... gosh i am falling into the deep pit and there is basically no one to help as of now as i am not sharing nor am i opening up.. something i had no problems in.. why???? woohoo.. gosh there is like PE tmr please... though it is a super slack day but with PE it is equivalent to a normal hiong day!!! to me that is.... coz i am like super duper unfit u know and not like e cartoon super duper sumo though i may just resemble one of them as of now =p actually now having date with ms China studies... My CSE notes seem to playhide and seek with me for goodness sake.. no idea where it ran to.. some secluded hiding spot or something.. don't play liao lehz.... i need you man......... not funny anymore man.......... seriously serious............... well i have to go lalaland ba else i will go lalaland tmr in class... chao ppl.....

what it means

2008-04-13T00:11:00.002+08:00

it was the feeling... that same one.. no doubt... woohooo... you know i know we know..........
but it cannot be..... how can it????? even now as i type this..... this strange feeling just haunts me like how i'm being haunted for results..... but why has it come to this stage?? simple coz i slack........... jokes.................. laughter are all so enjoyable just as the days that we spent as we live............... why? how? when? what? hmmmmm what other W is required to ans a question??? can't rmb.... coz when i try to joke later your leg will be pain coz i am like pulling your leg..... wish on..................... sleeeeeeeeeppppppppp onnnnnnnnnnnnnn.......

n soon it's Fridae

2008-04-10T21:58:00.002+08:00

blood donation!!!!!!! was cool and yea.. so much for having small veins and bigger veins at the side.. from right change to left and then stuck there while a vein was being looked for.. y u go hide my dear little vein?make my life more fun..cam whore!!!!!!!! toook me ages to fill up that 1 packet of blood while my frenz who started later than me were either done or going to be done...... n now got slight bruise..... haiyo... and tmr so gonna have a date with sleep.. super....
not that today is a good day.. gotta rest more coz body seriously automatically falling asleep.. so the article in mind your body on wed isn't of much use to me as instead of having problems to sleep i am having problems not to sleep =.='
had lessons till 3 today and i so had 3 hours of consecutive breaks.. from like 10 to 1 can... oh wow... n had to stay for some econs symposium though i tend to mistake it for lit symposium.. it was alright ba esp if i am not sleepy!!!! slept thru most of it.. goodness it was like 6 by the time it finish.. sorry but i had wasted tt time as i am tired... wonderful... NEVER am i gonna get involved for such things EVER again i tell you... NEVER.. and tomorrow i have like some econs essay test and nothing is like getting into my head.. you know.. rejection...
but i wonder am i am i not? can i can i not? would i would i not? should i should i not?
n now go rest sleep etc.... else tmr kena haunted by sleep in school..................

my stats

2008-04-09T21:00:00.000+08:00

Leadership is a hard skill to quantify. There are many aspects of leadership success - from asserting oneself to inspiring others to do their best. Each person has different strengths as a leader and different weaknesses. Knowing your skills allows you to improve upon your weaknesses and take advantage of your strengths.
Your weakness as a leader is what limits your overall leadership capability. Knowing your greatest weakness allows you to notice and actively improve your skill in that area - therefore increasing your overall leadership ability.
Your Weakest Leadership Skill is:
Ambition

Utilizing your strongest leadership skill allows you to best achieve your goals as a leader. Emphasizing your strengths enables you to appear as a strong and confident leader, and allows others to overlook any potential flaws.
Your Strongest Leadership Skill is:
Understanding

What are the 15 leadership skills?
1. Diligence - How hard do you work?
2. Persistence - For how long will you work to achieve your goal?
3. Understanding - Can you listen to others’ problems?
4. Confrontation - Do you have problems confronting adversaries?
5. Public Speaking - Can you stand in front of crowds and talk to them?
6. Problem Solving - Are you able to find appropriate solutions?
7. Role Model - Do people look up to you and your values?
8. Disposition - Are you easy to get along with?
9. Flexibility - Can you change your schedule according to group majority?
10. Ambition - Do you ever settle for mediocrity?
11. Organization - Can you keep a schedule for you and your followers?
12. Punctuality - Are you on time for your appointments?
13. Loyalty - Do you drop out of programs or change votes?
14. Street Smarts - Can you hold your own voice in the real world?
15. Versatility - Are you a jack of all trades or a master of none?

Back to school.

2008-04-06T17:00:00.001+08:00

and it's like back to school once again tmr..woohoo..quite a few hw to be done..gosh... wah.. bleahz.. can't really think on what to write but haiyo.. full of secrets.... had a great time for cat class.. woohoo... a fun PW.. unlike the PW that is in school... it sure was great to like at least be close to another person man.. woohoo.. the comfort and the security so makes one's day.. n oh gosh.. no way am i gonna impersonate someone else.. waaaa... not in real life.. dreamz maybe.. am i falling?? haha... neh.. i better not.. won't be nice if i do... haha.. alright.. shall go date ms hw now... blog again soon... n wa... tmr only got an hour of break.. no fun... why timetable so like tt... but no complains.. enjoying it.. though oh well..

Inspired

2008-04-02T22:14:00.002+08:00

wow.. Someone has said that i am inspiring!! wow.. a pleasant surprise.. super nice.. sweetest.. never imagined..

Nostalgia

2008-04-01T22:51:00.002+08:00

The looks of the faces... the warmth filling the emptiness of the heart.. the interaction that brings about bonds.. the routine that was more than it was.. the listening ear that was provided.. the acceptance that was given.. the trust that was built.. the care that was shared.. the sharing that was done.. the tomorrow that was usually celebrated monthly or yearly.. the promises that was made.. the procastination that was done.. the forgiveness that was given.. the chances that was provided.. all that should have been cherished and accepted from friends is what was taught in religion lesson.. Peer Pressure!!!!

Happy April's fools to all